About Me…

Whenever I see my grown up tummy, I promised myself that I will wake up early and go for jogging; it’s again a New Year resolution for last couple of years. That is now a dream for me… No weekdays, no weekends, so called busy or lazy.

Every weekend is quite hectic and I really mean it and I hardly had time for myself. Work, commitments, personal interests are never ending. Office demands 12 hours a day (Including traveling time, so irritating traffic take more time than usual), family demands 3/4 hour, (A pre-mess growing child, whom need more attention, but I don’t have that much) personal work demands another 2/3 hours and the rest of the time is demanded by the body, but end of the day body says not enough time for me. Weekends always wait with all the missed out works of the week. Shopping, Social Visit, Household cleaning, pays the bills and the list is always endless. Every Monday I wish hopefully next weekend will be a relaxing one… I will go for a movie, but unfortunately that never happens. Weekends are too smart to trap me again and again (but I get time for sleep on Sunday, if my kid goes to her maternal uncle house)!

I often wonder why am I running like crazy, do I need to slow down, am I really happy living this life style??? I remember my father going to office riding his bicycle at 10 in the morning, coming back home for lunch at 1, taking a nap comfortably and cycling back to office in his normal slow and steady pace. At 5.30 he used to be backing home with a bag full of vegetables. After 6 without a miss he would entertain his friends, neighbors. There was no rush, no tension in their faces. They were so content and happy always! I can’t remember a day I have lived free from everything! Even though when I am not engaged in anything particular, yet at the back of my mind I know so many things are waiting. The mind is never relaxed.

I always used to call myself a ‘wild bird’ (In study time was also). But I always ask myself,” Am I??” No, I am not. This materialistic world never makes me like that. Though I dream of becoming one. A hectic metro lifestyle, an ambitious mind and greed for so called modern necessities do not allow me to be myself (only myself). Perhaps the pursuit for living a comfortable life and desire of winning the so called “rat race” compel us to run non-stop, keeping us away from living a life the way we aspire. Now when I analyze, I realize, our parents were content because their needs and ambitions were well within limits and so comfortably reachable. This helped them to relax and have enough time for themselves. They are not famous, they are not so wealthy or perhaps they still do not know how to surf Google and find a solution every time they have confusion. But, they are the real winners as they have lived a happy life full of contentment. Even my mother lived alone in my hometown without any sacred. She is not kind to come and adjust in this so called metro life (She don’t get freeness, don’t get neighbor to talk, dependable on us for any outing etc with a major problem, she don’t know hindi or englis) . On her 60’s, she is so energetic and dynamic where as I am actually scared to see myself after 20 years!! I do not wish to die owning a flashy car, a massive mansion or a big name without a smile of satisfaction for living a meaningful life!!

I was born in a small town and I feel lucky and proud to be so. It was a small town in lower Assam full of green trees, three Small River, some pond with rich vaishnavate culture all around. I am fortunate to be a part of this beautiful landscape and culture. My morning used to start with the listening to the quacks of birds, Morning song of traditional vaishnavate monastery (Namghar). Now my morning start with some noise horn of car or ringing my calling bell by milk man.

Path of livelihood:

As we all know, those initial years of our lives are really crucial in shaping up our inner being as this is the phase when we experience everything new and things we learn are directly transferred to the soul. Perhaps my computer love is not natural (Again I was enter in this field accidentally, and you can say, because I have no other option to grab after my education as an Electronics and Communication Student of Assam) on that stage because those luxuries were out of our dream. I grown up with a dream that I will be an entrepreneur, try hard to do so, but failed to mark on it (Three times I attempt and every time I collapsed with loss, but I am happy to say my initiate still give food for some of my partner or friends or student. After struggling at initial life as a Computer Engineer or an Entrepreneur, life brings me to Metro with some hope and challenge, and now running on so called rat race.

Study was essential for me coz I was grown in a lower middle class family. Whereas my parents never think beyond a government job, my ambitions always far away from other Child’s dream. May be I failed in my entrepreneur venture, but I hope to best in my job and again hope to fulfill my dream of entrepreneur and a social activist.

Me, U to We : A Journey

Love is like water, we can fall in it, we can drown in it and we can’t live without it.

 Love happens to each one of us in different ways, some fall in ‘love at first sight’, some after friendship and some fall after marriage.

 Let’s see our journey from Me, U to We

 One day we were stranger, A planned visit of Vaisno Devi with group of friend…. one common friend, on the group I was the only one who know only of that group.  End of the journey we were no more stranger, just friend… 

 Time passed, we called each other, exchange mails, meet in some social cause.. etc…  

 Bond friendship in a different way than the group, one common intention was to do something different to the society.

 Again days passed, one night we convers a lot and suddenly feel we were bound for next level…. no iZahar.. no iKrar….We enjoyed changing colors of the world, feeling wonderful always and realized life has become beautiful… That beauty was so eternal, we needed no reasons for joy.

When we were together, there was a magic happening around always.. That magic was so magical that one touch used to leave breathless…

We were happy, want to be together… but challenged.. Social challenged… be belong to two different cast .. one from north and one from far east…. No match of language.. behavior etc etc… only one thing we have common.. we were Hindu by birth…….

 One thing we had decided, we would be together only after our families agreed, my family already gave concerned, visited her house, just waiting for their green signal….

 Time passed and finally we were together for ever… 12/12/09…. We tie the knot… time changed from me, u to we…. And now WE…..